Wednesday, December 06, 2006

I Am an Evil Herbivore

I am sorry. I really desperately want to be a consistant blogger. And i say that a lot. Which is just downright hypocritical. I'll stop apologizing and just try to do better. I'd be much better off if the wireless card i spent $65 on wasn't a dud... oh well. Anywho...

It used to really irritate when people said "anywho." I would glare at them once they turned their backs and sneer at them, mockingly mouthing the word they had dared utter in my presence. Then, one day, probably in winter because winter is the time to make such discoveries, I realized that "anywho" was a completely acceptable (in my book) typo for "anyhow." I like the word "anyhow" because it offers a pleasant change of scene from the all too over-used "anyway," and who can be blamed for switching the last two letters to a word every now and then? That's all it took for me to drop my inexplicable grudge. I kind of have a soft spot for typos that look and sound like they could be real words. I imagine that is how the great thinkers of the literary world, people like C.S. Lewis, J.K.Rowling J.R.R.Tolkein, create new languages and invent new vocabularies. I think they also had a leg up on the competition because they don't have first names. When you don't have a first name, it allows your mind to move to other levels of thinking that many of us will never access, wieghted down, as we are, by our cumbersome monnikers.

Some of the most fun I have is giggling at the words that spell-check offers as alternatives to words it doesn't recognize. I would give you some stellar examples right now, but spellcheck doesn't seem to want to work. Not only does that cut back on giggling, but now you have to suffer through my frequently atrocious spelling. I like to pretend that I am a good speller. This is a bad habit. I sometimes catch myself making fun of someone for not knowing how to spell something when I, myself, am ignorant on the same count. It's one of my more caustic traits, I guess. Alas, I will never be Akeelah, but sometimes, when I'm alone, I like to spell antidisestablishmentarianism out loud, tapping my side with the rhythm of the letters. Akeelah rocks.

This blog needs a picture. I'll get to work on that.


Serena said...

argueing that "anywho" is fine because its acceptable as a typo for "anyhow" is absolutely assbackwards.

typos are typos becauces people are lousy typers. regardless of this, they still pronounce/intended that typoed word correctly. "anywho" is just retardedness in action. on the other hand, American slang is vast and colorful and perhaps "anywho" is just one of those funky flavors that you just can not abide by.

as for spelling? well... i'm not one to talk as my spelling is atrocious and i rarely [or more accurately: never] use spell check when on the internet. can you tell by my response? i'm pretty sure there are some spelling errors in there somewhere... only i'm not entirely sure.. since i don't actually know how to properly spell the words... so they could be correct, i think... or not.....

i dont know. :(

jo! said...

A point of clarification: "anywho" is still grating to the ears, but for some reason I don't mind seeing it. Yes, typos happen because people are lousy typers, but for me, typos have become almost an art form. A friend of mine always mis-spelled "later" as "alter," but did so with such regularity that "alter" has become an acceptable alternative for "later." It's a different word with the same meaning, if you will.

I think there was a time when spelling was held in high regard, but alas, I fear those days have come and gone. Maybe we'll see a resurgence, and spelling will come back as triumphantly as My Little Ponies, but I just don't know.

Anonymous said...

Well, jo, if it makes you feel any better, I've gotten worse at spelling as I've gotten older. Oh, and, you spelled consistent and weight evil herbivore! Sorry, it's the English teacher in me. Keep postin' girlfriend.

Marcia said...

Matt's insanely smart federal judge he's working for this year? She says Anywho. But for some reason, coming out of this classy, intelligent woman, it's not as annoying. It's even cute.

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