9 Weird Things

Boy, when it rains, it pours, eh, comrades?

The amazing Gale from over "fancy french title" way tagged me for this meme, and I am in a Blog state of mind, so thought I might as well do it now.

Weird Meme: You simply list NINE weird things about yourself and then tag nine others.

It's funny. Gale mentioned in her post that she had a hard time coming up with 9 things. I cannot say that I had that problem. So these things are just the first 9 that came to my head, in no particular order...

1. I cannot spell "weird." Seriously, this is a real problem. Thank the good Lord for spell check because I would be truly embarrassed a lot of the time. For whatever reason, it always comes out "wierd" and I always have to go back and fix it. This entry is a real challenge, that's for sure!


2. When I was in grade school, probably 4th and 5th grades, I had serious crushes on both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. That's right, the presidents. Or former presidents, more appropriately. It stemmed from my obsession with the movie-musical 1776, about the writing of the Declaration of Independence. I loved everything about them for a long time. There are some truly entertaining anecdotes from this era in my life, but they can wait for another time.

3. I love bad jokes. I can hear the same lame jokes over and over again and I will always laugh just as hard. I am a sucker for "A ___ walked into a bar..." jokes. My two all time favorites:

A grasshopper walked into a bar and said "Hey, bartender! Give me a drink!" "Sure, buddy! Hey, ya know we have a drink named after you." And the grasshopper said "Why would anyone name a drink 'Bob'?"

A piece of string walked into a bar, and said, "Hey, bartender! Give me a drink!" The bartender replied, "Sorry, we don't serve string here." The piece of string walked out onto the street and tied himself into a knot and walked back into the bar. He said, "Hey, bartender! Give me a drink!" and the bartender replied, "Sorry, we don't serve knots here." So the piece of string walked back out onto the street, and started scratching his head with thought. Suddenly he got an idea and scratched his head a little harder. He walked back into the bar and said "Hey, bartender! Give me a drink!" And the bartender said, "Sure, buddy! Anything you'd like! Say-- don't I know you from somewhere?" And the string said, "I'm a frayed knot!"

(kills me every time!!!)

4. I completely believe that Champ exists. For those of you who don't know, Champ is the lake monster that lives in Lake Champlain, nestled between eastern upstate New York and western Vermont. He is sort of an American version of Nessie. I swear to God I felt him brush past me one evening when I was enjoying a late night swim under starry skies at a friend's Vermont camp. True story. He's real.

5. I am very rarely seen without sunglasses on top of my head. Sometimes they are on my face instead, which I feel is acceptable in exceptionally bright situations. In my room, I have a gift bag filled with the corpses of past sunglasses, 40 or so of them, that have met untimely ends over the years. Other pairs I have simply lost. It's interesting: for someone who can't function properly without shades, I break/lose them awfully frequently.

6. I often find myself talking in movie quotes. If I get into the movie Clue, I will not stop until there is some sort of physical interruption, usually a sibling launching themselves at me from across the room, hands extended toward the general throat area. Possibly more common in my speech are Eddie Izzard quotes. It is an addiction that I share with my room mate/"sister", Steph. We will have lengthy conversations without an original thought between us.

7. Speaking of Steph, she and I eat at "Riendl" at least twice a week. You may be wondering "What is Riendl? Is this some restaurant I am missing out on? Is it the next big thing? Sounds German. How's their bratwurst?" Well, Riendl is no more than another name for the popular chain of family restaurants, Friendly's. The alternate name came about about when I was trying to convey my desire to eat in code. "Hey, I think we should go to a place that starts with an "F", ends with an "y's" and in the middle is Riendl." (Those of you dedicated to SNL may recognize the syntax from a particularly clever "Superfans" sketch.) Well, the name stuck, and it has become a regular haunt of ours. And we order the same thing every time: Honey Barbecue Chicken Strips platter and Honey Barbeque Chicken Supermelt. And we always switch halfway through. Always.

8. I have an echo mic on my desk in my bedroom. Sometimes, when I am sitting there alone, I will serenade the empty room, belting my little heart out with the colorful plastic toy clutched in my hand, rockstar style. But usually, I use it to address anyone who comes into my room.

9. I name everything. If you have been following this blog, you know about my cars, the late Toby and the current Vincent. I also name plants (Clyde and Ursula live in my office). I love giving people nicknames and they usually stick, at least for me. My friend Dustinopolisbruley Joseph Ticonderoga Smith-Jones can attest to that one. I like to give names to rooms of the house and areas of property. I love naming animals. The mouse who, until very recently (RIP) lived in our basement was lovingly referred to as Eskimo, and the squirrel who lived outside of my freshman year homeroom in high school was known to all as Voltron* (he had a blond tail).

Those are my mandated 9 things. I don't really like tagging people for things, but people who read this who want to do it, will do it. I don't actually know how many people read this anyway, so it probably doesn't matter much in the long run. I hope everyone's happy and healthy!

*I just wanted to share that the word spell check come up with to replace "Voltron" was "paltriness"... isn't that great?